Affected reports: my life with asexuality is

Unlike the Girlfriends

“I would have liked as a young people more information. Great would have been if someone had told me that I’m okay the way I am,” says Carmilla deWinter (39), which represents the end of the 90s, when boy bands like “Take That” and the “Backstreet Boys” conquer the heart of all the girls, for the first time, that something is different than their Friends.

No desire to gain sexual experience

While the dream is to be with the Stars Knut, your the music. She has no desire to gain sexual experience – not even with the same age boys from the school. Holding hands Hugging, and more, you need not hold and a bit.

“At the beginning I thought that all the other that have Sex, are crazy.” Then they doubt themselves. If she is really heterosexual – what can you affirm this explicitly. “I assumed that I have no sexual contacts, because I’m too fat and too shy.”

Asexuality is not a disease

Until the mid-20 thrusts you into an article by chance on the concept of asexuality and will recognize That anything fits perfectly on me. The term appears for the first time in the late 90s on the Internet. According to the sex-psychologist Christoph J. Ahlers asexuality is not a disease. “Asexuals don’t suffer from it, that sexual Desire is missing.”

Rather, persons who experience themselves as asexual reject, sexual Stimulation with other people, but not sexual arousal or sexuality in General. Lust is only one of the three functions of sexuality. “In addition to the excitation there is sexuality to reproduction, and especially to communication,” explains Ahlers.

Need for intimacy, and intimacy

This means that Asexuals have no desire to stimulate other people sexually, a desire to have children many know but. And, above all, the need for intimacy, and intimacy through the body and contact with the skin, so that the communication function of sexuality is meant to be.

For Vivian Jückstock, a psychologist and sex therapist at the University hospital Hamburg-Eppendorf, is asexuality nothing Abnormal. “Sexual Desire and interest is pronounced differently in each person.” So there are people with a pronounced sexual interest, but also those without. The reasons for this is, as yet, little is known.

No scientific Consensus

There is still no scientific Consensus on the question of whether asexuality is a sexual orientation as Hetero-, Homo -, or bisexuality. Jückstock believes that the phenomenon has always been, in the past only no one has talked about it. “Sex in the marriage was rather regarded as a duty rather than a pleasure. Today, sexuality is individual auslebbar – or not.“

Jückstock stresses that can modify the expression of sexual desire in life. That means that there are people who are only in the course of time, asexual, and others, are out of it at some point.

That DeWinter is since her youth, asexual, it has long been accepted. She was happy to have no desire for Sex. A partnership, she says, can you imagine anyway.

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*The contribution of the “Affected reports: my life with asexuality is” of the Cologne Express. There is no editorial review by FOCUS Online. Contact with the executives here.