As each new year begins, it gives us the chance to reflect on what has happened during the previous 365 days. One of the most intriguing of these lists details the objects that people stuck inside their vaginas that resulted in a trip to the emergency room. It also includes other hospital visits because of vagina and vulva-related injuries and accidents.
So who, exactly keeps track of this? That would be the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System — a database listing the reasons behind ER visits compiled by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. The latest information available is for 2017, and here are some of the more unusual (and painful) findings:
One 13-year-old lost her balance and fell on a metal pole, injuring her vagina. In another case, a 44-year-old woman bruised her labia when she straddled a metal pole. No additional details or context were provided for either incident.
In an unfortunate accident, a six-year-old fell getting out of a shopping cart and hurt her vagina on the back of the cart. Ouch.
In another accident, a three-year-old obtained a vaginal laceration when she fell through a grate at her city’s museum.
Plastic bottle cap
A 28-year-old woman got a plastic bottle cap stuck inside her vagina when she was using it to masturbate. (Oh honey, no — there are far better options out there.)
When an 8-year-old girl attempted to jump over a broom stick, she accidentally straddled the stick, injuring her vagina. A four-year-old had a similar injury.
A 14-year-old girl fell off of a chair and onto a bucket, cutting her labia in the process. Additionally, a five-year-old girl fell onto the handle of a metal bucket, causing vaginal lacerations.
Books are pretty safe for kids, right? Wrong. A three-year-old girl was playing with her sibling when she fell onto the corner of the book, resulting in a vaginal laceration.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, you may want to check out our list of expert tips for what to do if you have something stuck inside your vagina. Most of the time, if it’s something like a broken condom or tampon, it will come out on its own, but of course, like the people on this list, a trip to the doctor may be in order, depending on the severity of the situation.
And don’t forget, there are plenty of perfectly safe objects you can put into your vagina. In fact, we’ve even put together a list of some of the best sex toys of 2018 for exactly that purpose. We’re all for self-pleasure and the many health benefits of masturbation — just make sure to do it safely.
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