Today in things we didn’t think we had to say: please do not insert a vacuum cleaner inside your vagina for any reason.
Why must we explain this? Because there’s a tweet doing the rounds that claims women are indeed vacuuming their vaginas in an attempt to make their periods end early.
A woman who lists herself as a nurse in her Twitter bio tweeted:’Ladies… Please stop using your vacuum hose to end your period early. You’re gonna wind up sucking out a lot more than blood!
‘There were 2 cases of this so far this week and both women had to be admitted. Just… STOP!’
We reached out to the nurse to ask a general ‘sorry, what?’ (and to find out if these claims are true), but sadly she hasn’t responded.
While we wait to find out more, however, what we can do is warn everyone to never, ever put a vacuum cleaner in their vagina.
Because if someone’s tweeted it, it probably is the case that someone’s done it or has thought about doing it. Thus we must stop them before any terrible damage occurs.
Let us begin by saying that there is no way that vacuuming your vagina would work to speed up your period and bring it to an end.
Dr Alex Eskander, Consultant Gynaecologist at The Gynae Centre, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘It is not possible to stop your period once it has started.’ That includes trying to quickly rush out all the menstrual fluids.
There are ways that you may be able to speed up your period, but none of them are scientifically proven. The ones on our list, though, are all safe to do, while using a vacuum poses quite a few risks.
First off, you shouldn’t put anything in your vagina that isn’t designed to be there – especially if said thing is used to literally suck up dirt and dust.
‘Vacuum cleaners are used for cleaning the floor and other dirty items, and so harbour bacteria,’ says Dr Alex.
‘Vacuum cleaner hoses should not be inserted into the vagina. It’s very important to keep the vulva area clean as introducing external bacteria could lead to infections.’
So just popping the hose in there is a bad idea.
Turning the vacuum on is an even worse one.
The suction could cause physical trauma to the vagina, ranging from scratches and bruising on the vaginal walls to seriously damaging your cervix.
As gynaecologist Shazia Malik told Vice: ‘It would be completely unsafe. Not just unsafe, but downright dangerous.
‘You could end up with genital trauma. You could damage your cervix and end up in excruciating pain.’
Ouch.
You could also end up perforating or tearing your uterus, or ripping apart the wall between the anal passage and the vagina, allowing for a rush of bacteria to come in.
Plus, a heavy flow isn’t something you want to bring on, as anyone with intense periods will tell you.
Sudden blood loss and the extreme sensation of suction in your vagina could cause shock and a loss of consciousness.
You can imagine the pain and damage possible when applying high power suction to any part of your body. Think blood blisters, cutting off circulation, that kind of thing. Applying this to a sensitive area poses even higher risk.
In short: if you were thinking about putting a vacuum cleaner in your vagina, don’t.
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