Greetings from the year 2019—where just about every appliance in our lives is “smart.” Our thermostats adjust themselves, depending on time of day. Packages arrive on our doorsteps within hours of us ordering them. And our homes are filled with speakers we can talk to, learn from, and shop through. Given all this, it should really come as no surprise that smart vibrators and other high-tech sex toys are about as abundant as smart phones and smart TVs.
The idea of a “smart” vibrator is a funny one to consider, given that vibrators have largely been the same since their invention in the 1880s. The highest-tech thing about vibrators has long been the fact that they vibrate—sometimes at different intensities, and with different pulsing patterns. But in the last decade, a handful of companies have aspired to reinvent the vibrator—or at least, render it a little tech-ier.
People in long-distance relationships can now use apps to remotely control each others’ sex toys from different states. Cock rings and rabbit vibrators now keep data on your performance over time so you can optimize your solo play experience. As if that weren’t enough, some toys will even optimize your experience for you—by learning your preferences and doing more of what you like with each use.
Gone are the days of waterproof vibrators and rechargeable sex toys seeming impressive. In 2019, if your vibrator doesn’t know you better than you know yourself, it can hardly be considered high-tech. Intrigued? Start shopping—high-tech sex toys abound.
The Lioness is one of the smartest vibrators around. The toy is equipped with biofeedback technology that picks up on everything from your body temperature to your pelvic floor contractions. It then uses that data to help you learn exactly what gets you off.
If you want to take things to the next level, you can connect your toy to the Lioness app. There, you can track things like your stress level, how much sleep you’re getting, how much caffeine you’ve consumed, etc.—and you can see how those things are affecting your solo sex life.
Lioness Vibrator, $229 at Babeland
The Elvie is a sex toy and personal trainer, all wrapped up in one. This award-winning toy—and the app it connects to—will guide you through weekly Kegel exercises. (The Elvie will even correct your form!)
Elvie Trainer, $199 at Amazon
OhMiBod Freestyle Wireless Dual-Stim Vibe
At first glance, the OhMiBod Freestyle is a classic rabbit vibrator—complete with three speeds and four pulsing patterns. But the fun sets it when you put the toy in Music Mode. Put on a song (through the OhMiBod app or a music player of your choice), and the OhMiBod Freestyle will begin pulsing to the beat.
Most of us have never wished to house a club inside our vaginas, but the OhMiBod is here to make that dream come true, nonetheless.
OhMiBod Freestyle Wireless Dual-Stim Vibe, $129 at Kiiroo
The Lovely 2.0 is a vibrating cock ring that learns your sexual preferences (and your partner’s sexual preferences) and adapts to them. Using the Lovely 2.0 app, you can control your Lovely from anywhere in the world. (The Lovely 2.0 also keeps track of how many calories you burn during sex, if you’re at all interested in that.)
Lovely 2.0, $139 at Lovely
The Smart Wand offers everything you loved about the iconic Hitachi Magic Wand—in a slightly more high-tech format. The Smart Wand uses SenseTouch Technology to turn on the moment it touches your body, and to turn off the moment you pull it away. (The Smart Wand will also increase the intensity of its vibrations as you press it harder into your skin.)
Smart Wand, $159-$199 at Babeland
We-Vibe Melt Clitoral Stimulator
The We-Vibe Melt Clitoral Stimulator comes with an app that remotely controls your experience with the toy—making it great for solo and partner play, alike. We-Vibe offers a range of app-controlled vibrators to choose from. But considering how few high-tech toys are clitoris-focused, we couldn’t help but give this particular vibe a shoutout.
We-Vibe Melt Clitoral Stimulator, $149.99 at Lovehoney
Lovehoney Wild Thing Vibrating Cock Ring
Many remote-controlled toys are geared exclusively toward women, but the Lovehoney Wild Thing offers a departure from that trend. No, it doesn’t come with a remote control app. But it does come with a standard remote control that you can use to trigger the cock ring’s 10 different functions.
Lovehoney Wild Thing Vibrating Cock Ring, $34.99 at Lovehoney
The OhMiBod Esca2 is a wearable vibrator that’s offers app-controlled play—so your partner can control your experience from across the room, or even from across the world.
The toy is also capable of being synced up with another Kiiroo device—say, your partner’s favorite toy—for a seriously interactive experience.
OhMiBod Esca2, $119 at Kiiroo
Womanizer Duo Stimulator
Like the Smart Wand, the Womanizer Duo Stimulator uses technology to automatically turn on and off—when you touch your body and pull away, respectively.
The Womanizer Duo also draws on the PleasureAir technology that defines every Womanizer product. Instead of vibrating, the toy offers a sucking sensation at 12 different intensities (and in 10 different vibrating modes).
Womanizer Duo Stimulator, $219 at Babeland
Fantasy for Her Remote Control Sex Machine
The Fantasy for Her may look like a standard dildo, and in many ways, it is. It offers seven vibration patterns (classic) and seven thrusting patterns (a little more contemporary). On top of that, it boasts a shaft that warms with use, offering you a more realistic experience than a standard penetrative vibe.
Fantasy for Her Remote Control Sex Machine, $119.99 at Lovehoney
OhMiBod Club Vibe
The OhMiBod Club Vibe’s sleek profile makes it a perfect candidate for wearable use. Simply slip the toy into your underwear, pass the remote control to your partner, and get ready for a wild night. (The OhMiBod Club Vibe comes with a pair of lace panties that offer ample room for the toy, so you don’t have to worry about anything slipping out and falling where it shouldn’t.)
Even more interesting? The vibrator is equipped with a built-in microphone that responds to music, your partner’s voice—anything at all, really.
OhMiBod Club Vibe, $119 at Kiiroo
The Cowgirl Premium Riding Sex Machine
The Cowgirl Premium Riding Sex Machine is a bona fide machine—and one that, of course, hooks up to an app. The dildo offers 360 degrees of swiveling rotation and two separate attachments. And the app allows you to control everything from the vibration intensity to the pulsing pattern. (If you don’t feel like downloading yet another app, you can use the attached remote control to do the same.)
The Cowgirl Premium Riding Sex Machine, $1,999.99 at Lovehoney
Amour Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator
Though it may seem archaic compared to some of the other toys in the bunch, the Amour Love Egg is high-tech in its own right. Sure, it doesn’t connect to an app, but it does connect to a remote control—and a cute one, at that.
Amour Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator, $69.99 at Lovehoney
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