A mom told her MIL that she doesn’t want her daughter to travel on a solo trip — and Reddit is rallying around to show full support. The OP explained that her little one, who is almost 3, just got out of hospice care after going into remission.
“Unfortunately, the cancer has returned except it is now crushing her optic nerve and is about 8cm long,” she wrote. “Multiple doctors recommended we make our daughter as comfortable as possible as they do not believe removing the tumor is a good option. I have so much to say in regards to her diagnosis but heartbroken will suffice for now.” All the mom wants to do with her daughter now is create special memories and spend as much time with her as possible.
OP’s mother-in-law reached out and said that she would like to take a trip with the toddler and had already booked flights and a hotel. It sounded like a good idea — until the MIL explained that she was not inviting her or her husband. “My daughter isn’t even three yet,” the mom wrote. “She has never stayed overnight anywhere and mother in law wants to take her for one entire week across the country, alone. I suggested that my husband and I both go that way our daughter is comfortable and for gods sake in the event she dies? She can’t be gone for a week. Her nurses are here. Her care is here.”
She continued to try to make some alternate suggestions but her MIL firmly turned them down. Then, she called her some choice names and said that she would fight for rights before her granddaughter dies. “My husband said we should acquiesce to his mother’s trip to avoid drama (even though he agrees that our daughter is too young),” the mom added. “But I want to spend time with her before the cancer takes her.”
With her husband on his mom’s side and her MIL’s strong reaction, she’s starting to question her decision. Many, many people chimed in to reinforce to this mom that her decision is absolutely valid and expressed complete frustration that she was being put in this situation in the first place.
“NTA,” one person wrote. “Your MIL wants to take 7 days of the precious time your daughter has left away from you. No No No No.” Another added: “Not only that, but do so in a way that would likely be somewhat traumatic for the daughter – and would take her away from her absolutely necessary health care. GAH.”
Lots of Reddit users also pointed a finger at the husband and reinforced that he should be standing by his wife’s side. “OP your husband is being ridiculous by even suggesting that you just go along with this,” a user noted. “This is YOUR child and no one should feel entitled to take her for that amount of time when she is already on hospice. Your MIL is insane.”
One person offered a practical suggestion for how the OP might handle this situation. “I’d suggest discussing it with your hospice doctor. There’s no way they would condone this trip, and would likely be glad to discuss it with your in-laws. Hospice employees tend to be super focused on the patient’s well being, and supporting the immediate family through what is one of the most difficult times they will face. Sending positive thoughts to you and your daughter.”
There’s no gray area with this one. All the mother and her daughter should be experiencing right now is love, support and kindness. Period, end of story.
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