Having your parents or in-laws stay at your home can make any grown person want to bang their head into a wall. So that feeling must only be magnified if the parents in question can be heard banging through the wall. One Redditor took to the AITA subreddit (which is always filled with parent or in-law drama) to give the internet a look into his parents’ sex life. (Hey, if he had to hear it, the least the rest of us can do is hear about it).
Growing up, he said, his parents and siblings were very sex-positive. OK, we can get behind that! (Or on top of that. Or underneath it.). OP did not feel the same way, and that’s a-okay.
“I’m an introvert and I prefer to keep my private life, well, private,” OP said in the post. “Think Sheldon Cooper with less raw sex appeal.”
Less-sexy Sheldon and his wife recently had a baby, and his out-of-town parents understandably asked if they could visit and spend time with the newest member of the family.
“The first night though was terrible,” he said. “The bed in the guest bedroom isn’t even up against a shared wall, and we could hear everything.”
Are you screaming? Because his parents certainly were.
“I don’t want to hear everything,” he said. “I don’t want to hear anything. My wife thinks I’m being ridiculous and that it’s lovely that a married couple in their fifties still has that attraction and energy.”
The son talked to his parents before he left for work the next morning and asked them to not do the deed in his house. Or to at least be discreet between the sheets.
“They said I’m being a prude and that isn’t how they raised me,” he said. “I said that I was allowed to feel how I did in my own home. So I said if they want to do that they can stay at a hotel or do it when I’m not home.”
We can understand the parents being defensive, but what’s possibly even weirder is that the Redditor’s siblings think he’s in the wrong. They are apparently fine with hearing their parents get freaky, and the two are now staying at his brother’s house.
“He called me up to say I was being a dick imposing rules on my parents that they didn’t have for us,” he said.
Well even if OP was being a dick, at least he wasn’t using his loud enough for the whole house to hear.
So now comes the time for the commenters to chime in and weigh in on whether he is the a-hole. The resounding answer? He’s not the a-hole for wanting no part of his folks’ in-the-sheets shenanigans.
“People who have loud sex in other people’s homes aren’t sex positive,” one commenter said. “…they are exhibitionists who are forcing you to take an unwilling part in their activities.”
“Ugh so true!” agreed another. “My parents were like this. 3-5x a week 1-2x a day/night sounding like rabid banshees. Didn’t matter where we were. Family? Loud. Vacation? Loud. Vacation WITH family? LOUD!!!!”
Another said the experience can be “scarring” and that they’d be “pissed” if their parents did the same.
“OP handled it better than I would have,” they said. “I would have been pounding on the door telling them to get the f*ck out or pay me $500 if they’re going to treat my home like a hotel. I didn’t need to hear that, and my kid sure as hell doesn’t either.”
Commenters agree that it’s rude for the parents to be so vocal when there’s a sleeping newborn and sleep-deprived parents in the house. They’re simply screwing everyone over while they screw each other.
“Even if it was not sex, it’s super not okay to keep a couple of new parents awake half the night when they should be resting from the baby keeping them up the other half!”
“Yeah, that’s a dick move,” said another.
Redditors then started brainstorming solutions. One suggested the OP checkout Brad Shore on YouTube, a licensed marriage and family therapist who talks about emotional incest, or the ways in which familial relationships can impact future intimacy.
Dr. Lea Lis, a.k.a. the Shameless Psychiatrist, told SheKnows that it is not overtly traumatizing for a child to accidentally see or hear their parents having sex. That said, parents should teach their children to create boundaries and then respect those boundaries when they are enforced. We have to assume these “sex-positive” parents taught their children about consent, so if their son says hearing the Big O is a Big No, that should be taken seriously.
And of course, Redditors then suggested the “taste of your own medicine” route.
“Can you imagine what would happen if OP cranked up the speakers playing some X-rated video just to drown out the parents in the other room? It could be amazing.”
As the problem-solvers put their brains together, commenters still wanted to know why mom and dad had to “rub their genitals” together so soon. They asked if OP’s parents are Mr. and Mrs. Focker and why they “can’t control their urges for [a visit that is probably] 48 hrs.”
Another good point came from a comment that got 69 upvotes:
“I’m kind of curious why they had to christen the guest bed on the first night there … and so loudly that they could have woke the baby. Are they just a couple of nymphos? Is set at home becoming dull and need the spice of a new place or even get a thrill from being overheard? Sorry their actions just seem a bit over the top to me. “
Even though the questions keep coming, the consensus is loud (although maybe not quite as loud as the escapades) and clear: If Mom and Dad are going to keep it up (*wink wink*) then they need to at least keep it quiet.
“Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s most ridiculous grown children.“
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