There’s an unwritten code of conduct among mom and dad friends. Such as don’t discipline someone else’s kid. Don’t bring a sick kid to a playdate. Don’t judge the perpetual rotation of athleisure. Oh — and we didn’t think we would have to get this specific — but don’t cut someone else’s kid’s hair on a whim.
Well, Shawn Johnson and Andrew East’s supposed friends broke the cardinal rule among parents. It pains us to tell you this as much as it pained us to hear it. Literally.
The retired football player posted a video on Instagram (viewers beware!) of him and his wife looking confused at each other and shaking their heads at the camera. “Our ‘friends’ gifted our kids a recorder…” it said over the footage.
The video then cuts to their son Jett, 2 blowing into the shrieking tube of terror, holding onto it with a death grip and throwing up a stiff arm, unwilling to let his big sister Drew, 3 take a turn. He blows into it with no rhyme or reason (ya know, as one mercilessly does with a recorder) while stumbling around, bumping into a couch but not letting that interfere with his murderous melody.
And to those who think we’re being dramatic, be grateful you’ve never been around a kid with one of those mass-produced torture devices.
We then see YouTuber Mallory Ervin walking into her living room in shock. And what does it say then?
“So we gifted them a drum set in return.”
“DRUMS!” Ervin said wide-eyed.
Her husband Kyle DiMeola sits on the floor in their living room while their three young sons yell and bang on the drums and cymbals randomly. All DiMeola can do is shake his head.
“Which is worse: recorder or drums?” East captioned his post. And if it isn’t clear already, we’ve chosen a side.
RECORDERS. Recorders every effin’ time. Don’t get us wrong, Johnson and East, that was perfect revenge, but we would give up all our worldly possessions to not have to be in your position. Surrounded by two toddlers fighting over a germ-covered recorder.
“The recorder is 100x worse and shouldn’t even be considered an instrument 😂,” one commenter agreed.
“Recorder is worse for sure. Easy to carry around in all the rooms!😂”
“Recorder is THE WORST!!!!! Especially when they bring them home from school and you are forced to listen to ‘Hot Cross Buns’ for HOURS 🤦🏻♀️”
DiMeola is already planning his next attack. “🤣🤣🤣 don’t worry got a saxophone coming next year,” he commented. Followers are suggesting retaliation tactics, and we have no doubt there will be more advice to come.
“Glitter for Christmas it is!! 😂😂😂😂” one person told East.
Glitter. The Devil’s Dust. The infuriating sparkles that try and hide their awfulness behind the guise of beauty, but just you wait until you try to clean that sh*t up! All we can say, DiMeola, is to put down the sax and no one gets hurt.
Dolls are for boys, too! Here’s our list of our favorite babies and buddies for your little guy.
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