Last week, at the age of 37, I had my first ever professional massage.
For years, I have dreamt of deep-tissue, full body massages, resulting in a kind of ‘good’ pain, like when your muscles ache during a workout.
However, I’ve always been rather scared to actually have one – due to the fact that I have brittle bones.
This rare genetic condition means my bone density is low and my bones are bendy and can fracture in the most seemingly innocuous ways
I’ve sneezed and broken a rib and simply rolled over in bed and snapped my collar bone clean in two. Yet, I’ve been thrown bodily from my wheelchair on more than one occasion and escaped any harm.
It was terrifying to put myself, literally, in someone else’s hands – but this practitioner had been recommended by someone else in the disability community, where I learn most about treatments and services.
I noticed the positive results almost immediately afterwards as my neck rotation improved – something I believed was not possible after an invasive spinal surgery in 2006.
It was a great experience, and made me realise how wonderful it would be if more services like massage therapy were available on the NHS and seen, for some, as a necessity rather than a luxury.
Too often as a disabled person, your approach to treatment or services that could improve your life is informed by learning from your peers, word of mouth, or trial and error.
As it stands the NHS does not routinely provide specialist services like massages, something that I think would have to change if our health service wants to commit to a truly holistic approach.
For me, a holistic approach, especially for disabled people, means looking outside potentially narrow parameters of healthcare might look like – and working with each individual to create a bespoke care package.
That means being open to alternative or complementary medicine as part of an overall treatment plan, including things like massages and other therapies.
An NHS system for treatment like massages would mean I wouldn’t have to stumble across details of an inclusive massage service on a friend’s Instagram, which focuses on people who are disabled or in recovery from surgery.
If this was on the NHS, it certainly wouldn’t have cost me £65.
That is a substantial amount of money given the current economic climate but I must say that by the standards of private treatment I felt it was very fair.
My massage was also done as a home visit, a treatment option I know can be vital for many disabled or neurodivergent individuals who prefer their own environments due to accessibility or comfort.
I had an extensive pretreatment chat with the masseuse, which included me even sending over my x-rays to show where some of my bones were misshapen and to identify where my metal rods were in my spine and legs, and more of my medical history.
It was such a positive experience from start to finish – which is just one of the reasons I wondered why I can’t have access to services like this on the NHS.
Not only would it mean that details about my needs were available to practitioners like the masseuse – I felt the service I received was so inclusive and felt like the truly holistic approach that can sometimes be missing from NHS treatment.
Anyone who, like me, was born with a mobility-limiting condition or at least acquired one at a young age will know that services like physio or hydrotherapy are far more widely available in childhood.
In my experience with hydrotherapy, as soon as I reached adulthood, it was no longer available.
As a full-time wheelchair user my body was very stiff. I had daily back aches, but the weekly hydrotherapy I had when I was around 13 worked wonders.
The weightlessness of the water made my body feel at ease. I even walked in the water.
However, as soon as I turned 18 this resource was taken from me.
Even after my 12-hour spinal surgery, which left me with spinal cord damage and chronic pain, our family had to really fight to get me just three post-op physio sessions.
This isn’t me knocking the NHS as a whole – my mum and other family members are nurses.
I have had lifesaving treatment and as someone who came from a low-income family, I cannot fathom living without a welfare system. But we shouldn’t just sit back and be grateful for the safety nets we have in place when we know things can and should be better.
That could be through allowing people to access different types of therapy like massages, or simply ensuring that we aren’t trying a one-size fits all approach, especially for disabled people with complex and unique needs.
I am writing this informed by my experiences, because after my massage I noticed immediate positive results – reminding me of how impossible it was to get help for my neck mobility issues on the NHS, and again convincing me this kind of treatment should be freely available.
After my spinal fusion in 2006 I woke up with metal pins in my back and a hook in my neck. I could barely lift my neck and simply thought this would be the case for the rest of my life – I still grieve that loss of function.
I honestly didn’t think anything could improve my neck mobility and no potential solutions were offered by the medical team.
Now 17 years on, immediately after my massage, my neck rotation and ability to lift it increased.
It may only have been by a few millimetres but by gosh it made a huge difference to my mental health.
I looked in the mirror lifting my chin up and down and side to side and I actually cried with happiness, because I didn’t think it was possible.
I’m already eager to set another massage appointment, I’d like to have this kind of treatment regularly but the frequency will ultimately come down to finances.
We all know the NHS is under huge strain, but if we can invest in less traditional treatments like massages or hydrotherapy, we can help more people and possibly even help ease that strain.
After all, the NHS should be about helping us manage our lives and affording us autonomy over our bodies, as best as possible.
After this experience, I don’t think any form of treatment or approach should be off the table if it works.
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